“I don’t actually drink coffee,” I told her. She laughed. “I only ask girls for coffee because it’d be weird if I asked them to get Taco Bell or to play video games.”

We sat down and talked for about an hour without any awkward pauses. She seemed to like me. She even answered my texts in the days after the date. Then one day she stopped. The matches stopped, too. Hardly any were trickling in now. I consulted the PUA. gods on Reddit to see what happened.

Their consensus was she found someone better. They said women can choose from the best of men, while all men (save for the Brad Pitts) are forced to choose from the homeliest of women. It was a numbers game, according to them. Meanwhile, each lowly man only had a handful of matches with which to work.

The Men’s Rights vibe I started to get from r/Tinder turned me off to the app completely…until my friends got involved.

“You’re probably doing it wrong,” K.M. said. He offered to run my Tinder for a night. I knew I should’ve declined, but biological urges are the Achilles heel of rational thinking.

Her features were peculiar; I wasn’t sure where she came from. She had a wonderful hair color-a sort of fiery blonde and orange. So lovely. Her bio mentioned she had two passports.

“Nothing on earth makes a girl’s pussy dry up faster than asking her about the fucking Yugoslav wars,” he said. His language upset me.

I forget what he asked her next. She ended up mentioning she was a nerd. I saw him type “prove you’re a nerd” into the chat box.

“You can’t ask her that. Have you heard of the Fake Geek Girl meme? Read more